“It is reported that a man came to ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (radia Allahu anhu) to complain about his wife’s ill-temper.

While he was waiting for ‘Umar to come out of his house, he heard ‘Umar’s wife scolding him and ‘Umar quietly listening to her, and not answering her back.

The man turned around and started walking away, muttering to himself: “If that is the case with ‘Umar, the leader of the believers, who is famous for his uprightness and toughness, then what about poor me?!”

At that moment, ‘Umar came out of his house and saw the man walking away.

He called him and said, “What is it you want of me, O man?”

The man replied: “O leader of the believers, I came to complain to you about my wife’s bad-temper and how she nags me. Then I heard your wife doing the same to you, so I turned around, muttering to myself, ‘If that is the situation of the leader of the believers,then what about me?’”

‘Umar replied, “O my brother, I bear with her because of her rights over me. She cooks my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes, breast-feeds my child… and yet none of these are her duty; and then she is a comfort to my heart and keeps me away from forbidden deeds. Consequently, I bear with her.”

The man said,“It is the same with me, O leader of the believers.”‘

Umar said: Then, O my brother, be patient with her, indeed this life is short.

[Adh-Dhahabi, Al-Kaba’ir194]

(via umm-isa-deactivated20140417)

Not a single word of disagreement

After the death of his wife Umm Sâlih, Imâm Ahmad – Allâh have mercy on them, used to praise her. He once said:

“In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement.”

— Al-Khatîb Al-Baghdâdî, Târîkh Baghdâd 16:626.

(Source: path-to-the-salaf)


The death of Khadijah left an indelible mark in the heart of the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ). She was always remembered by him and her name was always on his tongue. He loved those who loved her and he honored those who honored her.

Ā’ishah (رضي الله عنها) said:

"Allāh’s Messenger mentioned Khadijah one day and I said something about her. I said: ‘Such and such old woman! Allāh has replaced her for you with someone better!’

He (ﷺ) said ‘Allāh has not replaced her for me with someone better. She believed in me when the rest of people disbelieved. She gave me a share in hear wealth when the rest of the people denied me (theirs). Allāh provided me children from her while He denied me by other than her.’

I said, ‘I shall not blame you regarding her after today [1]’”

1. Repoted by Ahmad (6/117.118)

[Source: Men and Women Around the Messenger by Sa’d Yusuf Abu ‘Aziz, p. 517]

How to speak to your husband

It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:

“We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”

— Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.

(Source: path-to-the-salaf)


Shaykh Ibn Uthaymin: “The Prophet was the best one with his family and his wives. He spoke with them and listened to them.”

[al-Liqa ash-Shahri 79]

The Prophet (ﷺ) was asked, (which of the women are best)? He replied:

“The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he orders her and does not oppose him regarding herself or his wealth (and property) with what he dislikes.”

—  [Collected by Imaam Ahmad, 2/251]

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (Ramadan), guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’”

— [Narrated by Ahmad (1664) and others; classed as hasan by al-Albani because of another report in Saheeh al-Targheeb, as stated by al-Arna’oot in Takhreej al-Musnad.]