umm-isa:

Different types of Oppression upon the Muslim Women - Shaykh Ibn Baz

In the name of Allaah, The Just, All-Wise. May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family, companions and all those who follow them in goodness until the day of Return.

As for what follows; The Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Sheikh ‘Abdul ‘Azeez bin ‘Abdullaah aali Sheikh, may Allaah preserve him, discussed in one of his sermons the different types of oppression that befall the Muslim Women, may Allaah protect them, and here is a brief translation of them.

For the Arabic text please go to http://mufti.af.org.sa/node/1768

The different types of oppression upon the Muslim Women are: 

1- That the one who proposes to her cons her. 

Displaying lofty mannerisms from uprightness, good dealings, firmness upon the religion, soft speech and humility; however incidents thereafter clarify the lies of all that which were displayed. And this is from the types of oppression. 

2 - Mistreatment of her and dealing cruelly with her which are major errors. 

Our Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family.”

From amongst the slaves of Allaah are those who consider cursing and humiliating the women, due to the fact that he is her maintainer, (from masculinity). Howeverthis is in opposition to the legislation of Allaah.

Justice, benevolence, and polite speech are all desired from the Muslim.

Allaah the Most High says: 

“And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Satan verily, sows disagreements among them. Surely, Satan is to man a plain enemy.” [17:53] 

3 - Also hitting her mercilessly whether that be for a reason or not.

Allaah has permitted hitting the women after boycotting and admonishing them. Hitting them lightly where it will not bruise as it is suppose to discipline them and not harm.

For this reason the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, forbade hitting the women. Then ‘Umar, may Allaah be pleased with him, said: “O’ Messenger of Allaah, the women become audacious towards their husbands. Andso he permitted hitting them (lightly).

Then some women came to the houses of the Prophet, may peace be upon him, complaining about their husbands so the Prophet, may peace be upon him, said addressing the men:

“Indeed some women have visited the family of Muhammad complaining about their husbands and they are not the best of you.” [Abu Daawud] 

And he, peace be upon him, said:

“Let not a man beat his wife then be intimate with her at the end of the day.”

And ‘Aaisha, may Allaah be pleased with her, said:

“The Messenger of Allaah, may peace and blessings be upon him, never hit anyone with his hands, not a woman nor servant, except when he was in war in the path of Allaah.” 

4 - That the man calls her by the most offensive and repugnant of names.

The Messenger, may peace be upon him, said:

“Do not villify her nor hit her in the face.”

Meaning do not say to her; “may Allaah uglify you.”

Speech isn’t to be with obscenities. Rather it is to be polite and understandable so that the target at hand can be accomplished. 

5 - Likewise a lack of equity between spouses when one has multiple wives.

Because when Allaah allowed polygamy, He stipulated that the man must execute that which is obligatory upon him and that there be justice in that and he is capable of being equal between them.

Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, says: 

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan-girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (the captives and the slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.” [4:3] 

And in the prophetic tradition:

“Whoever has two wives and favours one more than the other, he’ll come on the day of Resurrection with one of his sides slanting.” 

6 - Preventing and obstructing her from visiting her family from time to time and getting together with her parents and siblings.

7- Burdening her with more than she can bear for that is in opposition to the way of the Prophet, may peace be upon him.

Muhammad, may peace and blessings be upon him, was the best of mankind and a pioneer for every Muslim. With that, when ‘Aaisha, may Allaah be pleased with her, was asked about his affair inside the home she said:

“He was at the service of his family and when the call for prayer would be called he would leave for prayer.” 

8 - What some of those whose faith are weak and their shyness and fear of Allaah are very low do of dictating to her the adorning of herself outside the house, unveiling, mingling with men whom she is able to marry, etc.

9 - What some of them do from preventing her from inheriting be it from her father, mother or even her children. All of this is sheer ignorance.

Allaah has given the women her right from the inheritance. He stipulated for the wife a fourth or an eighth. If she is a mother then a sixth or a third. If she is a sister then half or what remains. This is the arrangement of the inheritance as set by Allaah. He says:

“These are the limits (set by) Allaah (or ordainments as regards laws of inheritance), and whosoever obeys Allaah and His Messenger will be admitted to Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise), to abide therein, and that will be the great success. And whosoever disobeys Allaah and His Messenger, and transgresses His limits, He will cast him into the Fire, to abide therein; and he shall have a disgraceful torment.” [4:13,14] 

And He says at the ending of Chapter an-Nisaa:

“They ask you for a legal verdict. Say: “Allaah directs (thus) about Al-Kalalah (those who leave neither descendants nor ascendants as heirs). If it is a man that dies, leaving a sister, but no child, she shall have half the inheritance. If (such a deceased was) a woman, who left no child, her brother takes her inheritance. If there are two sisters, they shall have two-thirds of the inheritance; if there are brothers and sisters, the male will have twice the share of the female. (Thus) does Allaah makes clear to you (His Law) lest you go astray. And Allaah is the All-Knower of everything.” [4:176] 

So the right of the woman must be given to her whether she is a wife, mother, daughter or sister from that which Allaah has portioned for her. 

10 - What some of them do from restricting her expenses

 Allaah says: 

“No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of his child.” [2:233] 

And He says:

“Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell, according to your means, and do not treat them in such a harmful way that they be obliged to leave.” [65:6] 

11 - What some of them do when one of them marries a woman, then afterwards he doesn’t want to be with her anymore not because of her religion or manners or the like but merely because he doesn’t want her anymore, he begins to harm her so that she will give back the dowry that he paid to her.

Allaah has prohibited this where He said: 

“O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr you have given them…” [4:19] 

And He says: 

“But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a Cantar (of gold i.e. a great amount) as Mahr, take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin? And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?” [4:20-21] 

12 - Also spending her money that she has earned from working.

Some of these individuals wrong the woman and take her money. It could be her husband or father. Where he stipulates in the contract that all of her earnings are his and that he is her guardian.

All of this is oppression and transgression. The money that she has earned by working belongs to her that Allaah has secured for her. It is impermissible to take her money without her permission. 

13 - Or what some of them do by taking advantage of the women’s weakness and deceiving her by taking numerous loans out for long periods of time in her name placing her in grave debt. 

In ending, it is obligatory upon all the men to truly and sincerely fear Allaah and cooperate upon goodness.

May Allaah grant us success to that which He loves and is pleased with. May Allaah bless us by the Noble Qur’aan and benefit us by that which is contained in it from signs and wise remembrances.

Translated by Abu Fouzaan Qaasim

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We will split up quickly

Abu Dardaa to his wife: “If I get angry please me, and if you get angry I’ll please you. Otherwise if we are not like this, we will split up quickly.”

— [Rawdatul Uqalaa 1/72]

(Source: path-to-the-salaf)

Ibn al-Jawzee: “Once I learned the virtue of marriage and having children, I read the whole Qur’aan and then asked Allaah, the Most High, to give me ten children. He answered my request and gave me five boys and five girls.”

— [Siyar al-A’laam an-Nubulaa, 21/375]

(via kitabs-of-ilm)

umm-isa:

“It is reported that a man came to ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab (radia Allahu anhu) to complain about his wife’s ill-temper.

While he was waiting for ‘Umar to come out of his house, he heard ‘Umar’s wife scolding him and ‘Umar quietly listening to her, and not answering her back.

The man turned around and started walking away, muttering to himself: “If that is the case with ‘Umar, the leader of the believers, who is famous for his uprightness and toughness, then what about poor me?!”

At that moment, ‘Umar came out of his house and saw the man walking away.

He called him and said, “What is it you want of me, O man?”

The man replied: “O leader of the believers, I came to complain to you about my wife’s bad-temper and how she nags me. Then I heard your wife doing the same to you, so I turned around, muttering to myself, ‘If that is the situation of the leader of the believers,then what about me?’”

‘Umar replied, “O my brother, I bear with her because of her rights over me. She cooks my food, bakes my bread, washes my clothes, breast-feeds my child… and yet none of these are her duty; and then she is a comfort to my heart and keeps me away from forbidden deeds. Consequently, I bear with her.”

The man said,“It is the same with me, O leader of the believers.”‘

Umar said: Then, O my brother, be patient with her, indeed this life is short.

[Adh-Dhahabi, Al-Kaba’ir194]

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Not a single word of disagreement

After the death of his wife Umm Sâlih, Imâm Ahmad – Allâh have mercy on them, used to praise her. He once said:

“In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement.”

— Al-Khatîb Al-Baghdâdî, Târîkh Baghdâd 16:626.

(Source: path-to-the-salaf)

khadijahbintkhuwaylid:

The death of Khadijah left an indelible mark in the heart of the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ). She was always remembered by him and her name was always on his tongue. He loved those who loved her and he honored those who honored her.

Ā’ishah (رضي الله عنها) said:

"Allāh’s Messenger mentioned Khadijah one day and I said something about her. I said: ‘Such and such old woman! Allāh has replaced her for you with someone better!’

He (ﷺ) said ‘Allāh has not replaced her for me with someone better. She believed in me when the rest of people disbelieved. She gave me a share in hear wealth when the rest of the people denied me (theirs). Allāh provided me children from her while He denied me by other than her.’

I said, ‘I shall not blame you regarding her after today [1]’”

1. Repoted by Ahmad (6/117.118)

[Source: Men and Women Around the Messenger by Sa’d Yusuf Abu ‘Aziz, p. 517]

How to speak to your husband

It is reported that the wife of Imâm Sa’îd b. Al-Musayyib – Allâh have mercy on him – said:

“We only ever used to speak to our husbands like you address your commanders and leaders: [we would supplicate for them when talking to them] “May Allâh keep you right!”, “May Allâh keep you well!”

— Abû Nu’aym, Hilyatu Al-Awliyâ` 5:198.

(Source: path-to-the-salaf)

path-to-the-salaf:

Shaykh Ibn Uthaymin: “The Prophet was the best one with his family and his wives. He spoke with them and listened to them.”

[al-Liqa ash-Shahri 79]