Don’t just seek a sister who wears neqab and jilbaab. Look to her character. Look to her personality. Look to how she handles situations; if she’s patient, responsible, understanding, etc. If you’re only seeking neqab and jilbaab, you’ll only be left with a piece of cloth. Seek those who give meaning to a piece of cloth and who don it for the sake of Allaah, sincerely. Because there are those that wear neqab and jilbaab and you’ll surely find them, but some of them also hide more than just their body and face. Poor character is evident even if you conceal every inch of yourself.
Don’t just seek a brother who has a beard and wears pants above the ankle. Look to his character. Look to his personality. Look to how he handles situations; if he’s responsible, mature, understanding, patient, etc. If you’re only seeking a beard and pants above the ankle, you’ll only be left with hair and articles of clothing. Look to those who give meaning to having a beard and who give meaning to wearing pants above the ankle and who do so for the sake of Allaah, sincerely. Because you’ll find those who have a beard and wear pants above the ankle, there are plenty. But the outward wont correlate with the inward if you have poor character. & no matter how you present yourself, poor character will always be evident.
If you seek the character and deen of an individual, that’s all you’ll ever need. Because if their deen is sound, it’ll present itself outwardly; and present itself in their character. But to seek only the outwardly with the impression that it is good, is fooling yourself.
When you marry an individual, you’re marrying their souls, their days, their lifetime, their hearts. You’ll be with more than an outward appearance, so seek the ones with the best character. Seek the ones with the grasp on the deen.
As the Prophet Muhammad [sallah Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam] said :
“If there comes to you one whose Deen and character is pleasing then give (the woman) in marriage to him.”